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The Home Business Publication For Newcomers and Entrepreneurs Alike |
When A Man Loves A WomanA humourous look at networking 'round the house A colleague of mine is really getting it from his missus. Grief, I mean. He’s one of these people who really tries hard in his network marketing plan but, the harder he tries, the more he gets nagged from ‘er indoors. I feel sorry for him because, if she’d just give him some slack, he’s be quite successful, I’m sure. His name is Brett (the nett, ‘cos he’s always net-working) and on occasions he invites us all round for a drink and a chat about working from home. I have to smile to myself when I hear the little digs that he gets from his wife throughout the evening. She seems to be the entertainment as she constantly interrupts his flow with a few ‘home truths’ about the business he’s involved in. He recently spent thirty minutes explaining to us all about his latest venture and when he’d finished and thought he’d receive our questions, his wife took just thirty seconds telling us why it was crap and a waste of time because ‘he’s never made any money out of home business and he’s not doing any good at this one either’, she firmly scolded. His son entered the room and switched on the football which reminded me that it was on and I wished I’d have stayed home after all, but then again, I do always support our Brett. Brett told off his boy, Mrs Wife told off Brett for telling off boy. I always wonder why couples argue in front of guests, you’d think that they would keep their differences to themselves until we all went home. We got back into the swing of things though, with Brett giving us each a printout of how a downline would look if we all brought in just five people … and they brought in five each and those five brought in … you know the score, or I would have done if the football hadn’t been switched off. Anyway, Brett asked if we all had a sheet and, after about five minutes, we decided that we had in fact got one each and we then settled down to talk about it. Now Brett is a little behind with technology and he had printed out his examples on a dot matrix printer with tractor feed holes on the side of the paper (apparently, his wife wouldn’t allow a budget for a new inkjet printer) and this gave us the temptation to peel off the little holes down each side of the paper while he was talking, which seemed to annoy him. It annoyed me though, when I was halfway down my first side and the paper ripped, it annoyed Brett even more when the person sat opposite me couldn’t resist telling me that he had removed both sides of his tractor feed holes without ripping either of them. Sorry, he called as Brett looked daggers at him. Brett’s boy returned to record the rest of the football on TV and started moaning because he couldn’t find a tape to do it on. Brett’s wife stormed in with a spare tape … why wasn’t I surprised to see that it was a Betamax format?. I looked around the room for a hi-fi, half expecting to see an eight track cartridge player and some of those huge tapes that the machines used to take but I didn’t. It was, however, one of those wooden units with the glass doors, remember them?. They’d recently traded in their radiogram, Brett informed me as he noticed me looking at the unit in the corner. We got back into deep discussion about ‘dealing with ‘no’ from would be customers’, which was very interesting until Brett’s budgie suddenly took to having a fit in it’s cage. Water, feathers and seed went everywhere, it was screeching like mad for ages until Brett’s owner came in and gave the cage a wallop to quieten it down but it seemed to just frighten it stiff. Somebody knocked over their cup of tea next, which was all sorted after a few ‘never minds’ and ‘don’t worry’s’ from Brett and a few ‘when are you lot going home’ and ‘can’t you hold your business bloody briefings elsewhere in future’ from his wife. A number of us were amazed at the number of items Brett could fit into his briefcase when it got to about 11 o’clock that evening. He was now showing us how to advertise with yet another hand out. The usual check to make sure that we all had a copy was made and, after a few minutes, we decided that Jim and Sheila had to share a copy as we were one short. Brett went upstairs to his office or rather, their bedroom … he uses one of those, trays on wheels to keep his papers on and simply wheels it to where he wants it during office hours. Brett wanted to find the copy that he was missing as he was sure that he had printed enough. The only problem was, he let the dog in. In came a huge black thing which started sniffing all the guests crotches and sticking it’s nose up their bottoms which embarrassed even Big Tommy who always laughed at that sort of thing down at the pub. I grabbed the dogs nose and tried to push it to one side but he was too strong for me and it felt like a vacuum cleaner as the front of my trousers were sucked up it’s nose which he suddenly sneezed out covering me with wet stuff. We waited ages for Brett to return, he must have been frightened to come down as his wife was very angry about the dog making it to the lounge and giving the budgie his second fit of the night. Water, feathers and seed again and the sound of the flush pulling upstairs, yes, it was time to go, the business briefing was over. It hasn’t put me off though, Brett the Nett’s business briefings are always interesting and, at times, we all have a giggle behind his back. I don’t think that you should take your business too seriously because otherwise you’d go mad, wouldn’t you?. Brett stood in the hall doorway, seeing us off, ‘Never give up, think positive, keep smiling at all times’ he called. GET IN HERE!!, Came a voice from the kitchen. Yes dear, I’m on my way,’, replies Brett. I think that he may love her regardless of what we see each visit. We all get into our cars with someone singing in the background … When a ma-an loves a woman…
Martyn Brown
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